Isla Formosa (To the tune of "Hotel California")

One of my hobbies is rewriting song lyrics. It makes me laugh and helps me feel less stressed. This one is inspired by my time on Taiwan, which the Portuguese called "Isla Formosa." It's a very appropriate name, because it means "beautiful island."

Note: You'll probably enjoy this more if you have the lyrics to "Hotel California" in mind as you read. Part of the "game" is keeping the lyrics as close to the original as possible while changing the meaning enough to relate to the new topic.

Isla Formosa

On a dark city side street, humidity in my hair,

Warm smell of choudoufu,* rising up through the air,

Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light

Was growing hungry, so I wandered in

To the night market that night

There she stood at a snack stand; I heard the music’s beat,

And I was thinking to myself, “How do all these people fit in this street?”

Then she gave me a smile, and she showed me the way

There were voices everywhere I turned,

I thought I heard them say,

“Welcome to the Isla Formosa

Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) such a lovely place

We can make room on the Isla Formosa

Any time of year (Any time of year) You can find it here.”

Her mind is not very twisted. She’s got a scooter so small

She’s got a lot of Hello Kitty shirts and wears them all

Then we hike up the mountain, sweet summer sweat

Sometimes it is sunny; always I get wet

So I said at the tea stand, “Please bring me my tea,”

And he said, “I have run this tea stand here since 1993.”

And still those voices are calling from far away,

Wake you up in the middle of the night, just to hear them say,

“Welcome to the Isla Formosa

Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) such a lovely place

Living it up on the Isla Formosa

Such a nice surprise (Such a nice surprise) Eat some mango ice.”

Flowers on the treetops, bubble tea on ice,

And she said, “You should try the food they sell here; it is very nice.”

And in my friends’ apartment we gathered for the feast

Grabbed it with our wooden sticks but we can’t eat all the meat

Last thing I remember I was headed for the plane

Back to the place I was before, where I had to be again

“Relax” said the people. “We are eager to receive

“You can fly back any time you like, but you won’t want to leave!”

* Chinese for stinky tofu. It is very appropriately named. Much like Formosa.