On Being a Racial Minority

I’m pretty much the opposite of what most Americans think of as a racial minority. I’m a white girl who grew up going to a mostly-white school in suburban Connecticut.

I was raised on the belief that racial discrimination was wrong, and I acted accordingly. Of course I saw that people looked different, but I tried to treat everyone the same, without making assumptions based on what they looked like. One of my closest friends in high school was Indian (that is, her parents were from India). I even had crushes on boys from at least four different races.

But as I tried to ignore racial differences, I also ignored the different experiences of people of different races. I condemned obvious instances of racism but missed a lot of the subtle prejudices in the society around me and possibly in my own heart. The first time I considered that I might be missing something was when an Asian American friend of mine in college kept mentioning race. He’d make comments about how he felt in large groups of Asians, compared to how he felt in large groups of white people. I began to wonder: could the fact that I grew up as a majority have blinded me? If my race were something that made me different, would I consider it more important?

That question was answered for me when I moved to Asia a year ago. Now I am a minority. And I notice it.

Last year, I had pretty bad culture shock. There were a lot of things involved with it: the language, different habits, uncertainty about how to act, confusion about how to get around, sheer exhaustion and so on. But one thing that really got on my nerves was the sense that people could take one look at me and know I was foreign. It was like I had a big neon sign saying “wai guo ren” (Chinese for “foreigner”) hanging above my head.

Most people weren’t mean about it. Sometimes they were quite friendly and came up to me to practice their English. Sometimes they complimented me on my Chinese (even if I didn’t deserve it). But sometimes when I walked into a store, they would hide or run around looking for an English-speaking coworker. Sometimes they shouted “HELLO HELLO HELLO” until I acknowledged them. Sometimes small children stared at me on the subway.

Is it the same as the experience of a minority in America? No, not at all. I think it’s probably better in some ways and worse in others. On the one hand, culture shock combines with the fact that I look different to make me feel even more like an outsider. On the other hand, I think it would be harder to feel like you stood out if you were in your home country at the time.

So do I understand what it’s like to be a racial minority? Not really. I know what it’s like for me, but each person’s background and personality will make their experience different. Do I understand it better than I did two years ago? Absolutely. Am I more understanding and empathetic to those who have this kind of experience? I hope so. At the very least, I now know that race does matter. It matters because it’s part of how people experience the world and consequently a part of who we are.

A Glimpse of Autumn

Taiwan is beautiful during the fall. The weather is neither too hot nor too cold. I am comfortable outside wearing short, long, or medium-length sleeves. It doesn't rain all the time like it does in the winter time. Even the humidity either disappears or just isn't obvious because the temperature isn't so extreme.

And yet New England is also beautiful in the fall. I miss the leaves that change into such a wide variety of colors. I miss walking through rows of apple trees and trying to find the perfect apples to put in my bag. I miss the smell of earthy smell of freshly fallen leaves. I miss the taste of a freshly picked apple and the thick sweetness of apple cider.

This poem is an ode to autumn in New England.

A Glimpse of Autumn

A leaf of gold is set in silver wood

A ruby blossoms on a maple tree.

A moment – then the forest is ablaze

Its colors blend in autumn harmony

A cloud of cotton crowns a gust of wind

Which plucks up leaves that playfully take flight

They pirouette as trees all laugh with joy

My heart joins in and dances with delight

A silhouette against the azure sky

A flock of geese toward warmer weather roam

Like them, my soul has journeyed long and far

In memory to touch my distant home

Famous First Words

I love hearing stories about the beginnings of relationships. I especially like stories about how people met their spouses. Sometimes, they don't seem particularly special or romantic at the time. For example, a woman who used to work at my current company met her husband at an ESL Bible study. She was his teacher, and the first thing she ever said to him was, “You’re late!”

Stories like this just show how little we know about the future. So often we meet people who will have a huge effect on our lives, but we have no way of knowing it at the time.

But of course, relationships involving God are completely different. He knew everything that would happen in the history of the human race, which makes the first things He said to people especially interesting.

The first thing in the Bible that God said to a human is a blessing: “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth” (Genesis 1:28). There’s a lot that could be said about this verse, but I want to focus on the kind of relationship it suggests. When God created people, He wanted them to experience an abundant, fruitful, successful life, which would involve enjoying and taking care of everything in the world.

The next thing he said was, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food” (Genesis 1:29). Again, this is God blessing people, giving them an abundance of delicious food and allowing them to enjoy creation. Although the Bible does not mention this specifically, I’d like to point out that this includes chocolate – truly proof that God had our best interests at heart!

The creation account in Genesis 2 focuses more specifically on God’s creation of human beings, and the first recorded words in this account are very similar: “You may surely eat of every tree in the garden …” (Genesis 2:16). Yes, God goes on to give one exception to this sweeping statement, but the main point is still that Adam has an abundance of food – food he didn’t work to grow, because it was right there.

To me, this is a reminder of how central grace is in God’s relationship with us. We Christians tend to think of grace in terms of God’s forgiveness for sin. But any gift that we do not deserve or earn is also grace. Here, God gives grace by blessing people and showering them with gifts before the people have done anything at all.

So unlike the stories of human relationships, the story of God’s relationship with humanity is the same from beginning to end. God has always related to people on the basis of grace, giving generously long before people start serving Him. And God’s grace will continue to be the source of all our blessings even into eternity. In the words of John Newton, “’Tis grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

But Christ Is Risen

When I was a child, I once told my grandmother that I was going to be a worrywart when I grew up. I probably didn’t know what that meant. I was just repeating what someone else had said to me. Nevertheless, I have surely lived up to that early aspiration.

I worry about a lot of things. I worry about whether I’m doing my work well. I worry about whether I’m eating healthy enough, exercising enough or saving enough money. I worry about my relationships with friends and about my performance in the English Bible study I teach. I worry about the things I hear on the news – political unrest, wars, a plunging economy and a skyrocketing national debt.

All this worry understandably can leave me exhausted and discouraged. That’s how I was feeling one evening last week when I watched a short video by John Stonestreet.

The video talked about Christians engaging in culture, something that I worry is not happening often enough or well enough. But it ended on a note of hope and provided me with some much-needed perspective on my problems.

“The story of the world [is] secure because of one thing that can’t be changed: Christ has risen.”

The world may look like it's going downhill, but Christ is risen. No matter who wins the upcoming election, Christ is king. No matter what happens to the economy, I serve a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and who provides for His children. No matter how much our culture degenerates, Christ has promised to return and make all things new. No matter how helpless I feel speaking to my Bible study students, I serve a God whose Word was powerful enough to create the universe, and it is still powerful enough to bring new life to even the most resistant heart. I can and should work hard at whatever I do, but when I have done my part, the results are in His hands. 

Wings of the Dawn

Psalm 139: 9-10
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Wings of the Dawn
I've risen on the wings of dawn
To where the sunrise casts its rays.
I've settled on a distant shore
Where days are nights and nights are days.
I've wandered through these winding streets,
A twisting, multicolored maze,
Where subtle tones drop from each tongue,
Yet here I rest within Your gaze.

I wrote this while hiking this afternoon. The one thing I have to say is most of it is far more literal than it sounds. If you want the full explanation, check out my comment below.

Ten Things I Love About Taiwan (and Five I Don't) part 5

I have now been living in Taipei for one year. For the most part, I love it here, but as with any place, there are a few things I don’t like so much. So I plan to post a series about the best and worst things for a foreigner living here.  Each day I’ll cover two things I love and one I don’t so I can keep things balanced. They are grouped based on themes, not based on how strongly I feel about them.

Things I Like:

9. Awesome Foreigners

Expatriates are a really cool group of people. Although there aren’t a lot of foreigners in Taipei, we all tend to find each other because we tend to hang out at the same places, work at the same jobs and have many friends in common. After all, it’s easy to make friends with someone who speaks your native language and who shares the joys and frustrations of trying to find their way through the maze that is Taiwanese culture. But in many cases, our status as “Wai-guo-ren,” or foreigners, is almost the only thing we have in common.  This actually leads to many interesting conversations, especially about the places we come from. For example, I have learned more about South Africa in the past year than in all the previous years of my life combined. In Taiwan, I’ve met people from Canada, England, Holland, France, South Africa, Singapore, Malaysia, the Philippines, Korea, Japan, New Zealand and probably a few other countries that are slipping my mind right now. I’m learning a lot about different cultures – and not just Taiwanese/Chinese culture.

Expatriates are also interesting because they tend to have a broader perspective and more travel experience than most other people. I haven’t visited many countries in Asia, so I’m always fascinated to hear stories about other people’s travels and to dream about all the places I’d like to visit. We live in such a big, colorful, fascinating, diverse world, and living in even one country outside your home can help you take in much more of it.

10. Awesome Locals

 Taiwanese people are incredibly friendly. I’m not just saying this because I’m used to cold, aloof New Englanders – everyone I mention this to agrees with me. I pretty regularly have people strike up conversations with me on busses or subways, at restaurants and in shops. In most cases, they speak to me in English, which could be caused by a desire to practice their English or an assumption that I don’t speak Chinese, but I prefer to think of it as their way of being hospitable. Once they find out where I’m from and how long I’ve been here, people are always eager to hear what I think of Taiwan (especially the food). They’ll ask if I miss home, give me tips about where to go and what to do, and in some cases offer to help me out in some way. Of course I’ve had a few bad experiences, but these were mostly cultural misunderstandings, and many of them arose from people being a bit too friendly.

The Taiwanese are very polite; they wait in line and apologize if they inconvenience you. I also feel very safe here. One time I dropped a small wallet that had a little cash and my transportation card in a metro station. I didn’t realize this for about ten minutes, but when I returned, someone had turned the wallet in to the information desk. My card and all my money were still there. Obviously, I don’t recommend leaving money lying around, but this experience does say something good about Taiwan as a whole. That’s why when the locals ask me what I like about Taiwan, I always respond “The food and the people.”

Things I Don’t

5. Not Being at Home

In spite of all the awesome people I meet in Taiwan, I can’t stop missing the awesome people I left behind. Once in a while, especially when I’m tired after a long day of work or other activities, I find myself thinking longingly of eating dinner with my family, playing games with my brother or staying up late playing cards, watching TV or having deep discussions with my college friends. I guess that’s an inevitable part of living away from home, and in a sense I’m glad of it. This lingering homesickness is proof that what I had back in America was good and valuable and that it is still a deep part of who I am. It would be very sad if I never looked back on the past, never missed my family, never wanted to return to where I came from. That’s the hardest part of living in Taiwan, and sometimes I think that if I could bring my loved ones here with me, I would be perfectly happy. But I’m realizing that leaving some things behind is an inevitable part of growing up, and that we need to keep and treasure the good things in our past while we move on into the intimidating but invigorating adventure that is our future.

Ten Things I Love About Taiwan (And Five I Don't) part 4

I have now been living in Taipei for one year. For the most part, I love it here, but as with any place, there are a few things I don’t like so much. So I plan to post a series about the best and worst things for a foreigner living here.  Each day I’ll cover two things I love and one I don’t so I can keep things balanced. They are grouped based on themes, not based on how strongly I feel about them.

 Things I like:

7.  Adventures around every corner

                This one is kind of a general term, but I’ll try to explain what I mean. I’m a very adventurous person, so one of the things I love about being in another culture is the fact that things are so different. I already wrote about Taiwanese food, but even if it wasn’t so good, I’d still be trying just about everything. I’m proud of being willing to taste almost anything offered to me. I figure if it’s good, I’ve had a fun experience, and if it’s gross, I get a good story out of it.

                But more generally, I enjoy the strange things I see walking down the street. I like looking at the little carts that drive around selling snacks. I live near a fashion design school, so the students’ clothing is often quite interesting. The birds, trees and flowers are different from the ones at home, so to me they seem especially beautiful and exotic. There are some really beautiful old buildings around, too (but most of them are Buddhist temples, which makes me a little sad). Every time I take off for a place I haven’t seen before, I get a thrill because I know a new experience is just around the corner.

8. Night markets

                One type of adventure I am particularly fond of is walking through Taiwan’s night markets. They tend to be insanely crowded, so I like them best in small doses, but they are certainly an interesting cultural experience. I tend to think of them as a college student’s dream come true: very cheap food and clothing.

                Many night markets exist in streets with shops that are always open and at night wheel out racks into the street to compete with the stands that line the road only after dark. Vendors wheel carts in or lay down blankets in the middle of the street offering jewelry, shoes, skirts, hats, souvenirs and tee-shirts, sometimes with hilariously bad English (or “Chinglish”). Periodically, many of these booths pack up their wares and run into a dark alley where they hide for a few minutes. This is because they don’t have licenses and they have received word that the police are coming to do a raid. But within five or ten minutes, the illegal booths are back and continuing their business. Of course, there are some legal businesses that remain open constantly. The streets are usually packed with people as lights shine in many colors and pop music in Chinese, Korean or English blares from the stores’ speakers. (If you stand in just the right place, you may end up listening to two songs at once, which can be quite a weird experience.)

                I already wrote about Taiwanese food, but night market food definitely deserves a mention. You’ll see carts, stands and shops selling baked, boiled or fried buns stuffed with meat or vegetables; wraps with a variety of meat; vegetables and ground peanuts; oyster omelets held together with a sticky batter; shaved ice topped with fresh fruit, nuts, sweetened beans of various kinds or various flavors of jelly and tapioca balls; freshly cut fruit, including cherry tomatoes stuffed with dried figs; and drink stands selling tea mixed with milk or fruit juice as well as fruit smoothies made of freshly cut fruit put in a blender with milk and/or ice. This would be a mouth-watering combination of smells if it weren’t for the distinctive and ubiquitous scent of stinky tofu, a well-named type of fermented tofu served boiled or fried with pickled vegetables.  You can easily get dinner, a drink and a dessert at a night market for much less than $10, and it’s a great way to remind yourself of the fun side of living in a different culture.

Things I don’t

4. Guessing Games

                The other side of living in another country, though, is the sheer amount of things you don’t know. My reading ability in Chinese has improved a lot in the past year, but it doesn’t mean I can read every sign I see, so when I need to buy something specific, like baking ingredients, I often spend a significant amount of time wandering through the store before I give up and ask someone. Then they usually take me to a shelf I already looked at and point to something I missed the first time I went through. The other challenge is figuring out what brand to buy, since I’m not familiar with all of them and the ones I do know tend to be more expensive.  I usually go with the least expensive option, but sometimes, one brand will have two types of the product that cost the same amount. For example, today I bought some shampoo. I chose a brand that was on sale and that had two kinds: one with an orange label and one with a green label. I knew they were both shampoo, but I had no idea what the difference was. So I picked the orange label at random and decided to just see how it works.

                Language barriers aside, my other least favorite guessing game is trying to figure out the toilets. They have two kinds of toilets here: Western-style ones and squat toilets. The squat toilets are made of porcelain, and they do flush, but there’s nothing to sit on. I can use them, but I prefer not to. Many public places will have both kinds of toilets, and sometimes they are labeled, but often they are not. In that case, I just have to guess which one to go into. I have learned that stalls with doors that start well above the ground are always Western-style, for obvious reasons, but doors that almost touch the ground can go either way. When I went back to the States on vacation, I still remember the rush of excitement I got from walking into the airport restroom and realizing I didn’t have to guess what kind of toilet I’d go into!